I don’t have to wait for January 1st to cut anyone off! In fact, I don’t really have to cut anyone off completely if at all. I can and will protect my peace as well as my energy. While you should distance yourself from some folks to accomplish that, for the most part keeping people at arm’s length is okay. If this year has taught me anything, it’s the value of myself and my time! My time is precious and like all time, it cannot be made up or given back. So if I have given you my time and you wasted it, then you already know what happens next. This also applies to finances. I won’t give an irresponsible person or thief access to my funds… Well much like time, my energy and peace is money!
Allowing myself to find myself has been PARAMOUNT to my well-being. While, I don’t mind helping others, you cannot obligate all of your energy into causes or folks that will only serve to drain them. Sometimes, you have to give people constraints on your time to allow time for yourself. If it leads to self-improvement, awesome. Saying NO is okay! However it comes at a price… Some people cannot handle anything but YES. Some people who are not in the position to better themselves for any reason are not to keen on you doing so. Maybe, it’s their fear of change or letting go or being left behind. Whatever it is, when someone is too toxic to improve themselves, they most likely aren’t too pleasant to be around anyways.
So get ready for the “why are you so busy all of a sudden?” or “you think you’re better than me!” or “I wouldn’t do that to you,” or anything that will remind you of IOUs. It’s as simple as that scene from The Pursuit of Happyness, “…some people will tell you that you can’t do something because they can’t.”
I am sorry but I don’t know how many years I have left on this planet but I don’t want them passing me by because I didn’t take time to seek out personal happiness or follow my dreams. I definitely don’t want to waste whatever talent or potential I have because I didn’t invest in myself.
It’s not selfish, it’s called self-preservation. Besides putting energy into your goals allows you to grow and flourish… And if I’m well and able, I want to pass along that energy along to others! Energy begets more energy… The more you recycle into yourself, the more you have to go around. So don’t let people suck it all outta you.
The world is full of energy vampires who regardless of intent, will draw the energy and life from you. They range in different extremes like total narcissist or just a poor fellow down in the dumps.
This past year has been one of growth, self-love, self-care and self-preservation. In terms of friends and family, I firmly believe that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Meaning if you’re not right physically, mentally and emotionally as well as spiritually you will find it hard to provide positive energy for other people. However, this comes at a slightly dangerous cost because those energy vampires thrive and seek to drain that positive energy from you.
This doesn’t mean that they are bad people per se, however they do not possess the capacity to be accountable for their actions and well-being. So they look to others to fix whatever internal problems that they have instead of trying to fix those problems themselves… This includes those too toxic to admit there’s an issue that needs to be addressed by a professional.
In contrast, a rational individual will address and rectify internally where improvement is necessary. For some it may mean physical change by exercising and changing your eating habits. In terms of spiritual or mental change you may find it in religion or meditation. Another way that may be through the help of a psychiatrist shrink or other mental health specialist. Some people may need very little help and others may need a lot for example those with mental/physical ailments/issues, depression or something like that.
So what if the toxic person is you?
You ever see a toxic person surrounded by friends family or significant others? Pay attention to the changes that occur after one breaks up or splits from that toxic person… their life makes a change for the better!
I’ve noticed a lot of people saying that they want to cut off toxic people and problematic relationships. However that requires a great deal of accountability as opposed to playing the victim. Again being toxic doesn’t make you a bad person it just means that you need to own up to your issues. You have to find it in yourself to grow and learn.
Assess and evaluate whatever flaws or issues that you have that pushes others away you have. So when you think you’re cutting off toxic people and you find yourself alone use that solidarity to reflect on your life and the choices you’ve made so far.
I’ve been doing a lot of talking and thinking about positive energy, positive thinking & negative energy as well as toxic energy or people. I make no claims to be a medical professional or guru. I’m just someone trying to get by in this world and become a better person each day. I hope that in my change, it inspires others too.
So here’s to a positive new (Gregorian calendar) year and a positive new you!