Drunken Insomniac Writer

Ladies and gents, we have a dumbass of the day!

Ok so Thankgiving, I was cooking my ass off.  Things were going pretty good despite how tired I was.  I started cooking on the evening before and capped off my menu that afternoon.  I was later going to commute everything that I had cooked (all except a turkey) to my mother’s place in Maryland.  Anywho in the midst of this I took the time to send out a random text to all mobile numbers in my phone.  It wasn’t a forward from someone else but something that I made up to say Happy Turkey Day. I felt all creative and much like my blogs, it was wordy.  But I was in a good mood…

It read something like, “Happy Turkey Day! But seriously no matter how often or less we talk, I am thankful to have you in my life.”

Anywho, of course I got replies from everyone including those who had intercepted an old number from a friend or relative.  One stranger said he had just got a new phone but thanks for the wish, it actually made his day.

Then today, a whole week later…I get a private call (normally I don’t answer) from a girl asking if I texted her man!  I thought oh shit not again.  After interrogating me if I knew some dude, it finally clicked.  That the guy to whom I had no clue of because it was early on a Saturday morning, I was out of it and hungover. I finally realized who she was talking about.  At first I started to tell her that it is possible that the number originally belonged to a friend who perhaps changed it without me deleting it and updating my phone.  But then I recognized that it was the number of some guy (who shall remain named “Donatello”) who I was cool with in college, who pushed mail in the mailroom.  This dude wasn’t a student or faculty, there just staff.  Not that I am downtrodding him or anything but honestly, even if I was straight, he wouldn’t be on my radar.  As cool of a dude he was, I couldn’t find myself attracted to “Donatello” even if I tried plus he just isn’t my type.

That being said I assured her that I sent this text to him and 100’s of others in my phone.  She responded, “It [the message above] sounded like something was going on between the 2 of us.  Don’t be texting and calling my man.”

I told her she had nothing to worry about because I’m gay and that I hadn’t seen him since leaving college in ’04-’05…

She claimed that “”Gay women sleep with men and that don’t mean anything.””

I thought to myself and laughed, then saying, “Then I wouldn’t be gay sweetie.”

After feeling like an idiot, she proceeded to call me a “gay faggot,” (last I checked that derogatory word was used for men who were gay)  Could I be wrong after all this time?  LMAO

Anywho she called me nasty and said it was my fault as well as all gays that AIDS exists, although last I checked…AIDS didn’t have a sexual or racial preference being a predator.  And that also, more hetero people have contracted it these days than gays.  Not that it matters though…I asked what my being gay and sending FWD type text to 100+ people had to do with her?  She then hung up on me.

I was still half awake…but for fun I called his cell.  Of course she answered and asked why I called and not to call again.  Anywho, I proceeded to ask her how old she was…she replied that she was 36 (mind you I’m 27)  I told her that not only she was acting like a 12 year old but that I had no time to be arguing broke bitches over a man I’d never want on my most desperate day.  She proceeded to refer to my sexuality in a derogotory way again.  I told her that I didn’t have time for this and that unlike her I worked a full day yesterday and therefore tired.  I even bragged that I probably made more in a month than she made in a year.  She claimed to make 65k a year…I told her that yea right!  You live in the most ghetto of hoods with no plans to get out by any choice of your own while he works 2 bullshit jobs to support you and a baby that you claimed to have by him.  (Now Disclaimer: I do not think the hood is so horrible that you can’t over come it nor do I regret being from there myself but I make sure I try and give back to it while here, not being a product of it yet not forgetting where I come from.)

I then told her, how could I learn to make 65k in a year and be so dumb and ignorant without a GED?  She then told me that I was waisting her prepaid cell minutes and hung up…65k with a prepaid cell! ROLMFAO!!

I then called a mutual friend/co-worker who then told me that Donatello called her one morning saying that he’d gotten into an argument and needed a ride to work after she kicked him out of the car.  (Mind you most people who make 65K and have partners who work as well could quite possible have more than one car.) She then being the Christian she was did so even though it meant going out of the way and being late for her.  My friend then said this chick out of no where tried to run her off of Broad St. (a popular street in philly).

This brings me to my conclusion and reminds me of archived blogs entitled Suffering and To My Girls, ladies if you suspect your man is foul, then leave.  Calling girls trying to find out if he “ain’t shit” is dumb and pointless.  Dudes, if your girl acts like this…LEAVE ALL OF YOUR SHIT BEHIND AND RUN.  Just get the fuck out of dodge! That goes both ways for the ladies too.  I’ve been in an abusive relationship that consisted of no trust and me being unhappy a nd a little afraid…but I F**KIN’ LEFT! A healthy relationship does not consist of snooping through one’s shit to find something nor any behavior like what I described.  On that note, being insecure is one thing and so is being ignorant…but being both is just plain dangerous.

 

12/01/2007