So I realized that I wasn’t churning out the horror tales like I wanted. I mean the ideas are swirling in my head and I have good material. Yet for the life of me, I couldn’t get anything to pan out. It’s a nightmare trying to find a good ending to a horror story. Sometimes a happy ending isn’t always best and it’s hard to steer clear of that when you’re always happy.
As a writer, nothing kills a good story worse than an bad ending!
I thought I was suffering from writer’s block but here I was able to do some freelance writing work and blogging. I had even put together scripts for the upcoming season of The Single Chronicles.
So what was my problem? Was I losing my touch for the macabre? Or was it the same fear of not living up to my first accomplishment, The Virus Within.
I thought back to my days when I wrote The Virus Within. I was bummed about a knee injury that kept my off of the soccer field, not to mention social events with friends. So I turned to horror-themed chat rooms (It was the late 90s ok).
Eventually my gothic and gory creativity moved to the private Microsoft Word document and thus the Virus Within was born. Each night I dreamt a new chapter. I couldn’t stop thinking about how or where my characters would up. I even pushed past the devastating loss of most of my story when my PC crashed.
It kept me as ease, believe or not. Everyday would begin me worrying about how I would finish college, especially since I discovered I was pregnant. I eventually stepped away from college life and became a full-time mom. And eventually I published my baby. That was over a decade ago.
In the distraction that was life, death, relationships, entrepreneurship and adulting, I even fell away from blogging for an entire year. It was then I noticed that I distracted from my former distraction, writing.
I eventually found full-time work again and life got a little better. I even ended a shitty relationship. I was again depressed but not like before. This time I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. This was probably the point of my transformation
Eventually, I churned out a short story, The Goddess of Love. It was the heartbreak I needed to fuel pain into my character, who also had her heart broken. My life again inspired a character of mine, as it always did. Thus tale of sex and death had come alive.
And then one day, I began my career teaching Zumba professionally. My life took a turn for the better in the most magical way. Everything from my health to my finances took a major change for the better.
I even began blogging again, adding YouTuber to my resume. Even becoming a part of the International Bloggers and Horror Writer’s Association. But still my horror tales were lagging. I wasn’t bummed about it but I wasn’t pleased. I was so invested in my newfound joy that my blogs took precedence. I even revved things up with movie reviews.
I’m not saying I’m upset to have turned my back on horror slightly (from the creative standpoint) but I had a new perspective on life. I was studying the law of attraction. I was embracing the fundamentals.
Rejection leads to Reflection, which leads to Redirection. I knew that I needed to work towards other goals in order to get that writing thing back off of the ground. Why? Because my characters are reflections of me. I myself in all of them. I hurt, they hurt. It spawns their character arcs. And so now while I may not be writing the horror stories with the same gusto as before, I know eventually the lightbulb will go off again. I just read the headspace I had before, without my own personal heartache this time. It worked for everything else, so it had to work for this, right?
I guess time will tell…
Until Next Time Kiddies,
Shalom
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