Late one night or well the wee hours of the morning. I woke up in a sweat and chills and my heart was racing. I mean I had to even check my Fitbit for my vitals. When I awoke, I was for lack of a better word, terrified. I almost took to my journal to get the content for what could be a potential new horror story but I instead reached for my cat, Loki who was resting peacefully by my feet. Even my trick of trying to manipulate my dreams of sorts hadn’t helped because as soon as a dozed back off I was back in my nightmare realm.
With no way to control my surroundings, while being chased and nearly filleted at every turn, all I could do was run. No matter where I hid, there he was. He was massive like Jason, decrepit like a corpse but quick and agile like Usain Bolt. He was simply frightening. Unlike anything I had ever seen but inspired by everything I had seen in movies. His face decayed and muscles and tendons were exposed in some places, bone in others. You could see strands of white hair protruding from careful spots in his head where the skin had remained. He was for lack of a better word a hulking zombie. Almost like Friday the 13th part 7 but much much worse.
He had no emotion, not even anger. It was as if his only purpose was to get me. No matter how fast I ran, or thought I could just get away… he stayed on my tale. And on top of all of this, he wasn’t what scared me, it was the embodiment of what he represented in the real world that scared me to my core. I had never feared scary movies, in fact I love horror flicks. I’ve made money writing scary stories but none of the fictional horror I’d read or seen was nothing compared to what really has been stalking me.
I couldn’t shake the guy even though I wasn’t alone at times. Others would help… or at least try. Only to be dispatched in the goriest of ways and with ease. There were times when I watched in horror as he decimated everyone nearby while I stood powerless to do nothing. I felt in some aspects like I was a spectator watching a horror movie play out.
Eventually, it was daylight and it was time for me to prepare for work.
I Googled chase dreams at work that next day only to discover that it wasn’t some movie slasher I was trying to evade, it was the very chaos in my everyday life that I felt trapped in. From work to stressful home life, as well as finances, my subconscious was sending me a warning.
Regardless of the details of why I had that dream, I know that now is the time I finally stop running aka utilizing trauma responses and coping mechanisms. It’s time I take charge of my life, get my shit together and fight back…
Aka find true peace and happiness.
Dammit…
Until Next Time Kiddies,
Shalom
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