The Single Chronicles: I Was A Loser Chooser? (Sn.3 Ep.7)

So this week’s episode, I decided to parody myself a bit.

Now I won’t lie, The Single Chronicles are more than a parody, it eventually grew into my own personal therapy. It helped me not only get over a breakup but see the Fucktivity in future dating mishaps. Mishaps that began with picking someone I had no business in being with in the first place. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, that I had to not only learn to love myself but to take accountability in why I chose the types of people I did. More importantly all the while pointing out the fuckery of said people.

I eventually read more on psychology, dating and the like to further dissect why I like so many others did these things. Why do good girls like bad boys and why do good guys finish last? And all that jazz. Although I briefly pointed out these particular reasons behind being a loser chooser in prior episodes, this time I want to discuss each one in depth, giving each topic its own respective episode.

So this week was part 1 where I talked about the time I decided to let a guy stay with me who didn’t have his own place. It started as nightly a rendezvous here and there, which then became spending nights. Before long, this dude had his own drawer and toothbrush.

My intentions and love were true but then again you know what they say about good intentions. Evidently my dating routine consisted of good intentions and bad decisions.

If you haven’t seen this episode, here it is but feel free to continue reading below.

This particular guy had been living with his parents after a series of bad luck. Eventually they gave him the ultimatum of getting a real job or moving out. Now in my video, I left out the part about his parents because I’m going to save that for another day but the story pretty much is the same: I wanted to be the hero.

Now I’m not one to judge those less fortunate but I will point out those who are not willing to get out of toxic situations but use others to remain there.

But the thing about toxic situations is that a person stuck in them is the only one who has the strength to overcome it. No one can do it for them. While some us lean on others and get motivated to do better, inevitably it is our sole duty to save ourselves.

Nowadays even if my mother hadn’t moved in with me, eventually, I would’ve came to the conclusion that it’s not my job to save everyone… At least I hope I would have. Especially when it was actually a distraction I used to avoid my own shit.

No matter what, I had to learn that we fall in love with the wrong people because we’re so wrapped up in our illusions. We end up becoming blind to the true character of the people we become intimate with. Mostly it’s because it’s easier to see the potential in someone rather than who they truly are. In this situation, it’s like we’re using a person, any available person we can cling to in order to feed this retarded dream that they may never be able to satisfy. That’s mostly because we choose to ignore what’s right in front of us and that being alone is far worse.

At some point I eventually learned that my own self-esteem was low. It was that reason I chose broken people that weren’t worth my time. So instead of fixing myself, it was easier to fix others, which only led me to get lost in someone else… Even if they were toxic.

For example: I’ve always been obsessed with my weight and body image. I focused more on other people’s idea of health than my own. I starved & exhausted myself all for the sake of living up to a body image that was unrealistic and in contrast unhealthy. It wasn’t until becoming a Zumba Instructor, I learned to love what I saw in the mirror and dance. It was at that moment I learned that in order to shape the lives of others, I had to shape my own.

Until Next time kiddies,

Be Awesome, Be You, But Above All Else… Love Yourself

Shalom

Follow the Drunken Insomniac Writer on:

Instagram: @Insomniac_Writer
Twitter: @Nsomniac_Writer
Podcast: The Single Chronicles Podcast
Facebook: R.S. Lewis aka Insomniac Writer
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/insomniacwriter
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