I often times wonder what’s the point of trying any longer. I mean what fuels the fire in each and every one of us to continue on to the next day’s challenge? Is it hope, fear, love… courage? Maybe it’s a culmination of all of them or maybe one controls every individual far more than the next person. Whether it’s the person we lay next to, the person we pass on the street or even the closest relative or friend. The driving nature of humanity is that we all have the ability to press on despite the hill or mountain of problems before us. Often times some of us, if not most of us fall prey [or predator] to these things and rather face the defeat ahead as opposed to perseverance.
But then there are the select few who look at the bleakness of failure ahead and instead of fleeing, face it head on. Some of us fall asunder whilst some pursue on and overcome certain adversity. It is this very nature that compels or better yet inspires others even. I have fallen victim to the habit of giving up. This is very much so especially when all else seems lost, failure is inevitable and the future looks uncertain and bleak. But then small miracles appear from somewhere [or someone] and give me the hope, despite my greatest fear, combined with the love I have for myself and others close to my heart… which in turns grants me the courage to go on.
Sometimes I look at what fear lies in the corners of my heart and believe that it is failure that keeps me back. But I know now that though I have this fear, I in turn know that I actually fear not going on regardless of what may lie ahead.
Each day I pray for God to grant me serenity, wisdom and courage to love wisely those that genuinely love me…not just those who are there for the ride or those who have taken what they have from me without hesitation or appreciation.
11/10/2008
Drunken Insomniac Writer 