06/18/08 – To My Grandfather…on His Birthday

my grandpa being silly
Today my grandfather would have turned 90 years old. Most people who know me on a personal level know well how much he meant to me. Over the last 4 years since he took his last breath, I have evolved more than I think I ever have in my entire life. Funny, I never thought I get this far though by most others’ standards, it may not seem as far as it could or should be. There are some things that I have left undone and incomplete yet there are things so monumental that I never would have guessed coming this far by faith alone. Hell in my book, expectations are only as great as those who set them.

It is why I reflect back on my grandfather, he was so simplistic and easy-going that he could make the craziest situation seem no more trivial than an untied shoelace. That is a rare talent these days. We live in such a fast paced world, that never do we take the time to see things all the way through. And yet instead of finding a solution right in front of us, we stress the unimportant things and scrap off the rest. We worry if bills will be paid on time, if our lover is true, if the weather will be pleasant. But life is a journey with a lesson learned at the bitter end. But the lesson learned is not often the one we seek. Did I live a good life because I made tons of money or earned a good job? Am I beautiful because I go to the gym each day and eat right? Sure these things are important but they are not what make the world go round.

We worry so much about the trivial issues that we cause the more important ones that should matter to be forgotten. Such as did you tell someone you loved them? Did you forgive the last person to make you cry? Funny, some people would say that the world’s economy is more important than world peace itself.

We stress often how selfish others are because they aren’t there as often as we’d like them to be. We stress being lonely than being alone. We are often so afraid of change that we hinder triumph. We are a nation addicted to Prozac when truthfully the air you breathe is actually all you may need. My grandfather raised a family not to mention myself, cared for others, protected those he loved, managed his house, bills (or the lesser things) yet without a high school diploma. Of course that could be nearly impossible today but not as much we make it out to be. Did he deny us as children the things we thought were important? NO! Did he deny himself things that another man would say defined success, oddly enough? NO. Why, because he unconditionally put those he loved in front of him.

By far he was the most selfless person I knew.

I don’t know another breathing soul made of that fiber, not even me. However another great thing he did was that he didn’t stress if he couldn’t heal the world. I remember when I was helping him out with some house repairs. None of us thought that they could be done, with or without help…not without a prayer and a lot of dinero. But he basically told me… “It will get done one thing at a time. Why worry about what I can’t do when I should focus on what I can.” Needless to say we got things done. He focused more attention to detail on each individual thing one at a time instead of trying to do it all at once and risk fucking it up. So to myself and all of you, I say you can’t do it all but you can do what you can do. Don’t slack off but don’t sweat the small stuff. And that’s how you turn the mundane into the monumental without over-stressing it.

So to my grandfather whose logic and wisdom superseded his mortal coil, I love you and Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday Jewels




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