DISCLAIMER: The first of a lil mini-series that I am putting together! The following is fictional and any persons portrayed are the twisted delusions of my own head.
She looked me in the eyes with such sincerity that I found it hard to ignore the lump in my throat telling me to tell her the truth. What the hell was I doing over her house anyway, I kept asking myself? She was such a smart, beautiful girl and she deserved better than me. We had gone to pride marches together and clubbing. We’d also do the typical date shit, which included going to the mall, movies or museum. Needless to say that the sex was perfect.
Even her name was perfect, Tiffany. She was a fine ass, brown-skinned, 5-7, nice legs, nice tits and totally femme. I swear if you looked twice you’d mistake her for a straight girl. She is so dainty and cute. And she has the nicest body that I have ever seen. So why am I so guilty? No better yet why am I stupid?
Because I had done the unspeakable…and there is no spoiler here. I cheated! What makes it worse is that I fucked a guy! A guy she thought I was only cool with. A guy who happens to be not only younger than myself but her nephew.
Yeah I know, I know… I ain’t shit! It wasn’t like I planned it. It just well, happened.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKIN’?
Everytime I looked into those beautiful green eyes of hers, I felt like total shit. I don’t know what’s worse what I did, why I did it or how. I mean I’m fucking gay!
That night, I remember vividly. I had saw the kid outside my door. Selling his weed or whatever. A total waste of his talents I must say. The next thing I know I am teaching him the scent of a woman. Was he a virgin? Hell no…to my surprise he was actually quite good. Had I been straight, I would probably be in love…LOL! Well not really but needless to say the kid had size and experience. I guess it’s true that a guy can reach his sexual peak at 19.
Anyway, I’m off topic! I need to confess here. I actually wanted to propose to Tiffany. But it looks like my proposal is going to be a confession. I have to tell her the truth. If I am going to have any chance on a future, I gotta be honest.
I gently grabbed her by the hand and kissed her lips softly.
“God, all I want to do is taste her one last time,” I thought to myself.
I even smiled a devilish grin as a naughty little thought popped into my head as I envisioned my head between her legs and her hands tangled in my hair.
But I was here on business to see if I was the luckiest yet dumbest girl on the planet or just the dumbest. It’s so funny I practiced my entire script. I even played out a few moments of how I thought she would react in my car earlier that night.
Suddenly she returned my kiss but not as soft as mine. Hers was one of passion. Clearly this girl was in love with me…or just horny.
“God, she smells so good and her lips taste so nice,” I drifted off again.
I pulled away from her. I could quickly pick up on her look of confusion and slight disappointment that I was holding back. But this was my moment of truth.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I wanted to reply, “If you only knew that I betrayed you.”
“Nothin’ baby, we just need to talk,” I mustered out with a tremor.
I hadn’t noticed how nervous I was nor how badly my palms were shaking and sweating. But I had to stop thinking about it and just do it. No time for bitching out now. I found the courage to look her in the eye once again as I gripped her hands into mines once more but this time a little tighter as if I was afraid to let her go.
“Baby, we’ve been together for sometime now and I want you to know that you mean so much to me. I care about you so much. And I love you for everything that you are. You are totally accepting and patient with me. I thank God everyday to be so lucky. But the truth is I have been living a lie… I came here to confess something to you before I go on another moment with you.”
Tiffany looked away from me and then back at me. She had a look look of worry on her face as if she knew what was coming next from out of my mouth. God was this girl psychic on top of perfect? Surely there was no one else who knew what I had done. Well except her nephew and he was sworn to secrecy. Especially with me being the only one knowing that he was selling weed and doing worse on these streets.
Suddenly Tiffany stood to her feet allowing my own hands to drop into my lap. Her eyes quickly filled with tears as she tried to catch her breath.
“I knew it was too good to be true. You and this sappy shit from out of nowhere. You couldn’t leave well enough alone? Could you?” she mustered
“I’m sorry baby I know it was a mistake. But you need to hear me out first.”
“Because I came here to ask you to marry me.” It slipped out.
GOD DAMN IT! FUCK! I screamed aloud in my head. I am such a fucking coward. Why couldn’t I just tell this girl…
“I slept with someone else!” And then the words just slipped out.
But they weren’t mine. They were Tiffany’s!
“WHAT!?” I yelled.
“I’m sorry Roz but I cannot go on knowing that I did this.”
“I had an idea that you were all into this go elope somewhere shit. And as nice as that sounds, I want to explore my sexuality completely before I go on and settle down with the first girl I have ever been with. What can I say? This ride has been fun but you can’t ride roller coasters all day. You gotta explore different things in the park. Besides you got your own set of groupies. And we can still get it in, I just want us to be friends. I still like you, Boo but I don’t want to leave out my options. And we decided long ago that we’d be just seeing where this was gonna go.”
My jaw had to have still been on the floor. I really couldn’t be mad at her because here I was about to confess the same thing. But I must admit she slip that shit out a little too casually. I stood to my feet and started to walk towards her. But something stopped me dead in my tracks.
I smiled and said, “You are one piece of work.”
And then I calmly turned towards the front door and opened it. It was killing me not to turn around and slap the shit out of her but who was I to cast the first stone?
I looked back at her before exiting and thought to myself, “This bitch won’t get away with this shit!”