Someone once asked me:
What the Hell was I thinking when I coined the name,
DRUNKEN INSOMNIAC WRITER?
My Reply: (in my most sophisticated voice)
I drink an adequate amount of alcohol & get an inadequate amount of sleep! (Oh plus I write blogs, books & stuff!)
Sometime after chat rooms became a relic and Myspace started gaining popularity, I decided that I would try this thing called blogging. I stayed up countless nights writing, wired somehow as I sipped on an alcoholic beverage of choice. While I am not an alcoholic, the saying that drunken people have sober thoughts was an understatement. It would later inspire my blog handle.
I began sharing my stories, poems and tidbits amongst complete strangers as well as taking in a part within theirs. It was a world I felt I was born to be a part of and it was here along with other bloggers that I felt I belonged. I challenged others, critiqued things, provided advice but more or less bitched about people and stuff. I could be my non-compliant self in a complaint world. It was easy to relay a part of myself that I normally wouldn’t in real life mostly because I felt weird about it.
I wasn’t just some single mom from the hood…
I didn’t reveal much of myself to those close to me…except like 2 people and my kid who was as baby at the time (so that doesn’t count much). Not even my best friend I’ve known since birth knew every weird secret crawling inside of my head. Things like my sexuality to my odd tastes in movies and music. And so I created the Drunken Insomniac Writer. It was my way of coming out of the proverbial closet.
Mostly it was because I was so fucking afraid of what others would think about me. It was here behind a screen that I felt safer displaying the varying versions of myself. I was normally R.S. Lewis or Rose in the real world but online when I had something controversial or vulgar to say, I hid behind the Insomniac. As the Insomniac Writer, I don’t know how or why… it was easier to write how I felt than it was to say what was on my mind. I guess for so long I lived with another person inside of my head without a filter on. Sometimes even that alter-ego was split in two.
It was just like in the comics, superheroes and villains often hiding in plain sight behind opposing & mild-mannered alter-egos. I personally admired Wonder Woman the most because of her strength, sex appeal, fearlessness, and overall tough!
She protects the innocent and always advises her male counterparts of the Justice League! However, her alter-ego Diana Prince was a completely different individual. How I relate is because I am a pretty much a good girl on the surface… I pay taxes, vote and work a regular office job! I am a mother, author, business professional, conservative, philanthropist, socialite, caregiver, daughter, even Zumba Instructor…just to name a few!
But then there is the Insomniac Writer: blogger, pole-dancer, activist, feminist, gamer, liberal, an introvert behind a PC with a million+ un-PC things to say and share. My views on everything were almost always in contrast with the version of myself that everyone knew. But now the two finally came together to mix it up. Sophistication meets Bad Ass!
Fuckin’ Wonder Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eventually, I decided that the days keeping apart two very different sides to me were over. And so all of my personalities became one and in sync.
Another way to describe…
Ever been so tired but you’re up anyway in front of a PC, on your tablet or phone? Maybe it’s the retro pen and paper or the updated webcam…whatever it is, the drive/need/ADDiction to express, educate and entertain is so powerful that it supersedes the most common of all needs…SLEEP! That my friends is a DRUNKEN INSOMNIAC… Whether you are drunk on your ass or punch-drunk tired is a go either way.
I am a DRUNKEN INSOMNIAC WRITER…
(a fav line of mine from a song)
Take a look at me cause I could not care at all. Do or die You’ll never make me. Cause the world will never take… my heart. You can try, you’ll never break me. We want it all, I’m gonna play… this part. I won’t explain or say i’m sorry. I’m unashamed, I’m gonna show my scar. Give a cheer, for All the broken. Listen here, because it’s who we are…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Welcome To The Black Parade~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Chemical Romance